You guys, if I said before that I was up to my ears in school, I was not. I am now, officially, up to my freaking ears! My third simultaneous class began this week. And the work is LEGIT. That being said, I’m reading 8 million things at once, taking notes, watching online lectures, writing responses and I realized just now, I am unraveling. Not in the bad way, like I’m dying or going insane. I’m unraveling in the way I engage with work and mystery. I am reminded of the many nights I have sat behind my daughters and worked with untangling their long, thick, matted hair. A lot of my mommy friends have no reference for the level of untangling I engage in often. One of my girl friends was here a few months ago and was totally baffled! It’s my normal. And it was my mom’s normal with me. Partly because we let things slide sometimes until they get bad and we’re not particularly vain or worried about having pretty hair. But more than that, it’s just what happens when you’re active and have a lot of hair. You just sit down and do the work, even if it takes hours.
In the same way that I have to bolster myself before I start the untangling process, I am looking at this school work with the same vision. Not just in tackling the actual work, which is daunting (how am I going to do it all in the time frame I have?) The vision that the work is worth the effort expended, that one day it will eventually be smooth enough to put the hair to use (braids, typically), and that there is learning in the process of the untangling. As you all know, I have been sifting my theology for 7 years. And looking at theology from the worldview I have post-sifting (though, will I ever truly be post-sifting?), now armed with books and professors and a cohort, I am ready to re-engage. Each reading on trinitarian theology or conversation about the historical Jesus or project with a church focus group is a knot I’m working through. It is something to come prepared for with eyes towards a future where I will have benefitted from this process. Some use will become clear for this learning and this experience in the end. But for now, I’m gonna keep brushing, keep reading and keep soldiering on.